Horny Toad Gia Dress
July 27, 2010
I really intended to stop with the dress thing for a while, but then this little number arrived for a spot of pre-Outdoor Retailer coverage so, you know, I’m obligated. That was pretty much my thought process when I opened the Horny Toad package. I am the first to tell you that I’m over 35 so “cute” “strappy” and “short” are not really things I tend to look for in a dress. When I pulled the Gia out of the package in all honesty I thought I’d try it out, wear it a few times because that’s my job, and then give it to a member of the younger set that didn’t mind their bra straps showing. Boy oh boy was I just WRONG. Not about the bra straps thing – just bear with me, I’ll come back to that.
I have this method; a process, if you will, of trying things on that have any sort of appearance/fashion component. If it’s not a super technical piece of gear that pretty much means that I use this process on everything. Yes, I care how I look in the clothes I am wearing even if I am contractually or by implication obligated to wear them, so sue me. Hm, perhaps using the words “sue me” and “contractually” in the same sentence is not really the best policy. Anyway, my trying-on process. Here’s the thing: usually when people try things on, they look in the mirror while they are putting them on, then tug and turn and gaze and peer at themselves before they finally decide whether they like the item or not. No, people, NO. That is the wrong way to do it. Do it this way: put the item on without even looking in the mirror, ESPECIALLY not while you are actually IN THE PROCESS of putting the clothes on. Clothes coming off looks sexy and nice, clothes going on looks awkward and unfortunate. You will not like ANY clothes if you watch yourself putting them on. Think I’m kidding? Go put on a tube top while watching in the mirror.
OK, so put the item on, then walk away from the mirror without looking. If you’re at home (I can’t be the only Internet shopper out there), go do something else. If you are at a store, I dunno, go do a lap. Give up your dressing room, it’s OK. Then in a few minutes, casually walk by the mirror and steal a glance at yourself as you walk by. If you think “Hey! Look at that fine thing, there!” your clothing item is a winner. If you still think “hum, hmm, not sure, maybe it’s too tight in the ass?” or what have you, then no, the item is not for you. Stay with this process and you can’t go wrong.
So I put this dress on, with its sheer cottony feel and relaxed lines and kind of ruched, frilly little straps on without looking in the mirror. I really loved the way it felt and thought it would the perfect swimsuit cover up, which is funny because I’ve never needed a swimsuit cover up in my life. Swim suits in Alaska are also known as dry suits so you don’t need to cover them up, and when I go to Mexico I pretty much live in my bikini so this thing known as a “cover up” is a new concept to me. But this dress just begs to be slipped on over a bikini after a day at the lake. It’s soft, light, pretty (the process! I’m not supposed to be looking yet), and comfortable.
My mirror drive-by revealed that this dress is also really, really flattering. I am not just saying that because I am full of myself. In this dress, yes, I am full of myself, but that’s the cause-effect thing. The Gia is adorable. I know this not only because I like what I see in the mirror, but because my Gearguy came home and said “wow, that’s really cute.” He’s not given to observations about my appearance so this was a big deal, everyone.
Now, back to the bra strap thing: skinny straps are usually bad news, especially when paired with a lightweight dress. There are people who are (I accidentally just typed “whoare” which you may choose to take as a Freudian slip if you are so inclined) comfortable with that level of personal anatomy display, but I am not one of them. I find bra-wearing to be highly appropriate in most situations. So I was stunned and quite thrilled to find that the cute little ruched Gia straps are pretty much bra-friendly! Someone is really doing the math, here. Bra straps can’t be seen at all from the front. AT ALL. From the back and side, you can see them a little bit depending on the style of bra you are wearing. That is forgivable for this dress, believe me. I don’t own any strappy dresses because of the bra strap issue, but now I see the error of my ways. There are strappy dresses that can be worn in a tasteful manner and this is one of them.
At 5′5″ the length falls about an inch above my knees; very nice for summer weather. My sample is a flattering, summery melon color but I believe the dress comes in darker colors as well.
It’s a shaped, fitted dress with enough movement to make you look relaxed and elegant. I asked for a size up because of my trend towards more relaxed dress-fit, but if you want a tighter look, get your regular size; it won’t be TOO tight. To be honest with my readers, I think the price point on this dress is a little high at $63, but you can get it on sale for fifty-something which is completely worth it. It’s one of the most comfortable pieces of the summer so I highly recommend it. It truly is a great swim cover up and would be presentable at all but the snootiest of restaurants (because they don’t allow anything that even LOOKS like it might be made of cotton).
And just to add to the already kind of ludicrous length of this dress post, the official product description says the dress is made of “slubbed” fabric, whatever the hell that is. Maybe that refers to the kind of multi-shade textury feel and look of the fabric, but there you go. It’s slubbed. Have at it and enjoy!
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