Horny Toad Gia Dress
July 27, 2010
I really intended to stop with the dress thing for a while, but then this little number arrived for a spot of pre-Outdoor Retailer coverage so, you know, I’m obligated. That was pretty much my thought process when I opened the Horny Toad package. I am the first to tell you that I’m over 35 so “cute” “strappy” and “short” are not really things I tend to look for in a dress. When I pulled the Gia out of the package in all honesty I thought I’d try it out, wear it a few times because that’s my job, and then give it to a member of the younger set that didn’t mind their bra straps showing. Boy oh boy was I just WRONG. Not about the bra straps thing – just bear with me, I’ll come back to that.
I have this method; a process, if you will, of trying things on that have any sort of appearance/fashion component. If it’s not a super technical piece of gear that pretty much means that I use this process on everything. Yes, I care how I look in the clothes I am wearing even if I am contractually or by implication obligated to wear them, so sue me. Hm, perhaps using the words “sue me” and “contractually” in the same sentence is not really the best policy. Anyway, my trying-on process. Here’s the thing: usually when people try things on, they look in the mirror while they are putting them on, then tug and turn and gaze and peer at themselves before they finally decide whether they like the item or not. No, people, NO. That is the wrong way to do it. Do it this way: put the item on without even looking in the mirror, ESPECIALLY not while you are actually IN THE PROCESS of putting the clothes on. Clothes coming off looks sexy and nice, clothes going on looks awkward and unfortunate. You will not like ANY clothes if you watch yourself putting them on. Think I’m kidding? Go put on a tube top while watching in the mirror.
OK, so put the item on, then walk away from the mirror without looking. If you’re at home (I can’t be the only Internet shopper out there), go do something else. If you are at a store, I dunno, go do a lap. Give up your dressing room, it’s OK. Then in a few minutes, casually walk by the mirror and steal a glance at yourself as you walk by. If you think “Hey! Look at that fine thing, there!” your clothing item is a winner. If you still think “hum, hmm, not sure, maybe it’s too tight in the ass?” or what have you, then no, the item is not for you. Stay with this process and you can’t go wrong.
So I put this dress on, with its sheer cottony feel and relaxed lines and kind of ruched, frilly little straps on without looking in the mirror. I really loved the way it felt and thought it would the perfect swimsuit cover up, which is funny because I’ve never needed a swimsuit cover up in my life. Swim suits in Alaska are also known as dry suits so you don’t need to cover them up, and when I go to Mexico I pretty much live in my bikini so this thing known as a “cover up” is a new concept to me. But this dress just begs to be slipped on over a bikini after a day at the lake. It’s soft, light, pretty (the process! I’m not supposed to be looking yet), and comfortable.
My mirror drive-by revealed that this dress is also really, really flattering. I am not just saying that because I am full of myself. In this dress, yes, I am full of myself, but that’s the cause-effect thing. The Gia is adorable. I know this not only because I like what I see in the mirror, but because my Gearguy came home and said “wow, that’s really cute.” He’s not given to observations about my appearance so this was a big deal, everyone.
Now, back to the bra strap thing: skinny straps are usually bad news, especially when paired with a lightweight dress. There are people who are (I accidentally just typed “whoare” which you may choose to take as a Freudian slip if you are so inclined) comfortable with that level of personal anatomy display, but I am not one of them. I find bra-wearing to be highly appropriate in most situations. So I was stunned and quite thrilled to find that the cute little ruched Gia straps are pretty much bra-friendly! Someone is really doing the math, here. Bra straps can’t be seen at all from the front. AT ALL. From the back and side, you can see them a little bit depending on the style of bra you are wearing. That is forgivable for this dress, believe me. I don’t own any strappy dresses because of the bra strap issue, but now I see the error of my ways. There are strappy dresses that can be worn in a tasteful manner and this is one of them.
At 5′5″ the length falls about an inch above my knees; very nice for summer weather. My sample is a flattering, summery melon color but I believe the dress comes in darker colors as well.
It’s a shaped, fitted dress with enough movement to make you look relaxed and elegant. I asked for a size up because of my trend towards more relaxed dress-fit, but if you want a tighter look, get your regular size; it won’t be TOO tight. To be honest with my readers, I think the price point on this dress is a little high at $63, but you can get it on sale for fifty-something which is completely worth it. It’s one of the most comfortable pieces of the summer so I highly recommend it. It truly is a great swim cover up and would be presentable at all but the snootiest of restaurants (because they don’t allow anything that even LOOKS like it might be made of cotton).
And just to add to the already kind of ludicrous length of this dress post, the official product description says the dress is made of “slubbed” fabric, whatever the hell that is. Maybe that refers to the kind of multi-shade textury feel and look of the fabric, but there you go. It’s slubbed. Have at it and enjoy!
Patagonia Vitaliti Dress
July 15, 2010
The dress obsession continues – and leads to the inevitable letdown. I thought dresses could do no wrong! They are the answer to everything! Buy thousands of them! Well, buy one more, anyway. I saw a picture of this dress in a catalog and fell victim to the siren song of the Catalog Model. She looks so great in it! It’s perfect! How can it NOT look equally great on me?
Well, er, it doesn’t. This dress doesn’t seem to know what body type it wants. It’s kind of A-line, kind of empire waist, kind of small on top and big in the middle…I don’t know. Maybe it wants a much skinnier, taller person, I thought. Then I read a consumer review from a tall woman who thought this year’s Vitaliti was too short for her; she didn’t like it either. Maybe it wants a curvier person. Who knows. All I know is that it didn’t flatter me. I’m sure there are some body types for which this dress will work well. They’re just not mine. The product info says this has a “slim fit” but on my body type it was only slim on top and on bottom. The middle was kind of boufy and pouchy (not a good look, and not a slim look either), which kind of leaves me thinking “buh?” Because of my experience with the Patagonia Bandha dress, I bought a medium instead of my usual small, but had I bought the small, I would have been mortified by the uber clinginess. Also not a good look. Well, maybe for the meatpacking district, but not for my ‘hood.
Other than that, it’s a nice, pretty dress with good features. The wrinkle-free fabric would be nice for travel and the simplicity is appealing. It’s got a helpful built in shelf bra, which, in fact, was another eye opener for me. In this review I made fun of padded bras, and the manufacturers of the item replied, letting the readers know that the padding is for concealment as much as for enhancement. Well, I never quite understood their point until now. Needless to say, the Vitaliti dress did not have enough concealment for my comfort level. And it is not a bra-friendly dress (spaghetti straps are just kind of like that, eh) so if you are the modest type, maybe this one isn’t for you either.
I’m sure there’s some lucky model girl out there who looks great in this. I look great in a lot of things, but not this. I’m disappointed, but not discouraged. Bloody, but not bowed? Whatever. Tomorrow: yet another dress review.
Patagonia Bandha Dress
July 11, 2010
I told you that you’d be seeing a lot of dresses on this site these days, so here we are, with two dress posts in a row. The short story is that this is a gorgeous little number; very classy. I can’t bring myself to try to hike or to do anything rough and tumble in this one. I can see bringing it traveling, as in, civilized traveling, not trekking or bushwhacking or anything. It’s a no-brainer choice for a stroll down the banks of the Seine or a relaxed evening dinner (which was the sum total of my “test” for this dress. The dinner, that is, not the stroll down the banks of the Seine. Which would have been a great gimmick for this review though). Incredibly flattering and sophisticated, it features a rather sexy bandeau-style bodice while retaining classy and reassuring full coverage. It’s bra-friendly and features fabric stout enough to soothe see-through worries. The length is a little above mid-calf so it’s a pretty low-pressure number, though you’d never really guess it when seeing it on. It looks much more expensive and “time consuming” than it is, if that makes any sense. And if you’ve had to struggle to find that perfect ensemble for a pack-light-stay-versatile-look-nice type of trip, that makes perfect sense.
I learned my lesson about leaving out the sizing info last time, and it’s worth noting that this dress is “slim fit” (it even says so on the tag). This seemed to translate into “tight fit” but not uncomfortably so. If you like a more clingy line, buy your regular size. If you want it a bit more forgiving, go a size up. I’m usually a small but I went with a medium on this one because I’m getting old enough that sucking in the tummy after a big pasta meal is not only uncomfortable but also too much of a pain in the ass to bother with. I didn’t want to have to think about it so a size up was right for me. The bodice is still flatteringly form fitting but I don’t have to obsess over underwear choice, if you catch my drift. So, another day, another great dress. As of this writing, it’s on sale, too, so click the picture above and get a great dress for a great deal.
GoLite Cayambe Dress
July 8, 2010
You can expect to see quite a few dress reviews coming up, and you can thank GoLite for that. They send this cute little number for me to try out, and I promptly fell in love with it and became obsessed with dresses. Dresses for hiking, dresses for biking, dresses for travel, dresses for everything. And this is the one that started it all. I’ve had some sort of epiphany and I don’t know what I was thinking all these years. Planning out ensembles and outfits – I could have just grabbed a dress and gone. This sounds elementary, but as a woman who spent most of her girlhood AVOIDING dresses, it wasn’t that intuitive a leap for me. Dresses were for events and formal occasions, not for, you know, fun. When I first started this site, I never would have thought I’d be reviewing dresses and calling them “gear” but these days, they really are. It’s common now to find me on my daily hike in a dress, or running in a skirt, and even wearing dresses to casual occasions. And I am getting very sick of hearing “you look like a real girl!” or some such comment from, well, everyone I know.
I just love the concept – a super packable, wrinkle-free, quick drying reversible travel dress that doubles as a hiking outfit and can easily go out to a fancy dinner as well. I was skeptical of the reversible idea, as in past iterations (meaning: my second grade wardrobe) it has not seemed to be implemented all that well, but the Cayambe is perfectly designed to serve as two dresses in one. My favorite color combo is the one shown above, the light blue paired with dark grey – it’s gorgeous and with the dark grey on the outside, you even have a hope of keeping it at least looking clean after a hike or other adventure. There is a variety of color options available so you’re bound to find something you like.
I appreciate the bra-friendly straps and bodice, and the well-thought out ruching at the bust which prevents gappage. That’s right, bend and stretch as you please; you won’t be giving a peep show while you do it. Well, it IS a dress, so you know, bend and stretch as you please within reason and you won’t give a peep show.
Dresses are one of those options that women don’t appreciate as much as they should. Sure, we typically don’t get as many gear options as the dudes (and Geargals is of course working to help change that) but the humble dress has certainly come a long way. It’s no longer a hindrance to outdoor sport – it’s an enhancement. Now, WE get the best gear: the simplest, most versatile, and easiest-to-pack gear option on the market. Now, I have no problem with dudes in dresses and I do know a probably higher-than-average number of men who are willing to wear a dress or skirt. But I think dudes are really missing out, here. I love hiking in a dress; it’s cooler and simpler; a nice space-saver. I don’t have to think about the whole shirt-pants-shorts-capris thing; just throw on the dress and there you are – dressed. I love it. The hiking/travel dress concept is so good that my gearguy has started wistfully talking about wanting to wear a kilt. This I gotta see.
Anyway, back to the Cayambe – for those worried about the modesty factor, you don’t have to worry. The full, swishy skirt can be easily arranged to properly cover yourself in any sitting position, and there is more than enough drape to hide panty lines and other bulgy bits – a good thing, for this is a very lightweight item with thin fabric. The cut is a bit empire-waistish, which some will like and some will not. I don’t tend to like an empire waist, but I don’t mind this one since the cut of the dress is fitted enough to avoid the pregnant-lady look. It’s a cute, attractive cut but modest enough to wear to work with no qualms. Most importantly, it’s a great functional option for travel or hiking. Enjoy!
EDIT – A reader wrote in to ask me about sizing, so here’s the skinny. The Cayambe is true to size, maybe even a little generously. I usually wear a small and that’s just about right for me in this dress as well. I tried a size M as well and although it worked OK, it was just a bit too voluminous. Very comfy though. Long story short: order your normal size.
